I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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