I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
