remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
