Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
