Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
