you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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