she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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