I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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