R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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