drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
