I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
