Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
