How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
