Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Randomize
