hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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