I wannas sexs uuuuu
handjob tips. give me some.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
