But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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