I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so explain again why im purple
no
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
me + whiskey = a bad person
What happened to fro yo and sex?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
