i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
