How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
