Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
