im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
