chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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