Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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