I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There's always time for handjobs
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
