He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
