I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
my sisters under your porch take her home
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
