? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize