i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
