Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
