Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
