Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
