Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
