it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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