im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
