He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
