so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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