He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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