True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
