if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
