I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
