So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
