I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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