how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
