jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
