Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Blood and glitter go together right?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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