dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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