I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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