Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
