she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
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